Brentology.com

Walking home from work, I look a couple blocks ahead and notice that my building is so dark it blends in with the dark rainy night sky. The only illumination on my block is that of the amber strobes of the utility trucks parked nearby. Inside the only lights are those from the elevators being powered by generator. I head into my dark apartment and scramble around for some candles to light.

Finnigan, being the curious little seven month old fluff ball of cutness that he is, sees fire for the first time and decides to investigate. Next thing I hear is a little "pssst" as his cute little wet nose makes contact with a candle flame. He runs, I jump up, and the chase is on. I'm trying to get him to stop so I can check him out and my mind is racing. Is he just scared? Is he on fire? Is he singed beyond belief? Will Cher be called upon to make "elephant kitty?" So I'm just frantic.

So mustering a voice I thought only mothers and army drill instructoirs could do, I yell "FINN STOP!" And stop he did. I scooped him up as he was wildly trying to lick his nose, shone a flashlight in his face, and examined what I hope was still a cute little pink nose. It looked ok, but he was crazily licking and I was like "crap gotta do something." So I cupped some cold water in my hand and gently pushed it in his face.

Yes, there I was water-boarding my kitty. Dick Cheney would be proud. But that was over quite fast so thinking logically as I was, I grabbed a still-frozen bag of broccoli from the freezer and held it up to his nose.

Now I'm not sure if it actually felt good, he really likes broccoli, or he was just totally stunned to be snorting green veggies, but he actually held the position for a few seconds before he decided he had enough. Luckliy it was only a minute before he felt I had come to my senses and he was his playful self grabbing my shoelaces and purring away.