Things we really want to say at work
From my old files, I think Lil sent this list of what we are really thinking at work. I am sure I have overheard her letting these slip out from time to time. (I know I complain about work a lot, but it is not really all that bad, but customer service makes the sarcasm come out, just keeping it in your head or under your breath is sometimes the tricky part.)
Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you.
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
Do I look like a people person?
This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left.
Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless
acts of self-control?
I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
You look like crap. Is that the style now?
Earth is full. Go home.
Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
You are depriving some village of an idiot.
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
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